Mike the Fisherman

I'm taking some time today talk about my favorite fishing buddy. I worked with Mike for 3 years and he was someone I'll never forget. Yes, Mike was developmentally disabled and also autistic. Mike's passion will always be fishing. Mike and I would always talk about fishing...all year round believe it or not. He knew so much about fishing. If someone pulled a fish out of the water, he knew exactly what kind of fish it was. He had all kinds of new sayings I always adopted. He would say "Oh I specks and 'spose everyone will be down at the river." He had a bunch of fishing buddies that he always fished with, they would look out for each other. It was like a 2nd family to Mike and I really understood what drew him down there. I was lucky enough to meet them and they took me in too whenever I would go fishing with Mike.

To work on Mike's and my "relationship" I would pretend I knew nothing about fishing and Mike took on the role of my teacher. It really ignited a spark in him to be showing me how to cast, fix my line and how to "play with the fish before you snag 'em". He even helped me pick out my new fishing pole. Mike and I became quite close. He hugged me a couple of times and people told me they've never seem him show emotion like that. I feel grateful for the time we shared and the progress he made. He would not clean his house and so I suggested that he and I clean together, him doing one room and me doing the other. Pretty soon, he would hurry and clean before he knew I was coming over, to impress me. As soon as I walked in, he would say "What do you think of the kitchen Julie? Doesn't it look nice and clean?" I felt so proud of him.

Time stands still for no one. I made a decision to take this new job, in January. It paid more and had more responsibility. Change is difficult for people like Mike. I tried to ease away from Mike, but it was not easy. He showed up a couple of times at my new job saying "I just missed you Julie." Do they ever know how to rip your heart out. So Mike started going downhill. Mike also has an "impulse" disorder, where he gets angry really fast and has hit people out in the community and though it doesn't happen often, 3 weeks ago, he was about arrested and had to go to court and pay a fine. THese were no kind of consequences for him, which is really what he needed. So I was asked to come back and work with him temporarily, to see if it would help. It didn't happen because he had another incident and on Thursday, he was committed into the psych ward at the hospital, on the day of his sister's funeral. I hurt for Mike and God knows I miss him so much. I found him at the river 1 week ago and we fished for 2-3 hours. I didn't know that would be the last time I would see him. He'd always ask me questions with "isn't that right, Julie?" His humor will always be with me and I hope the best for him...but more than that I feel so blessed that our paths crossed and we were a part of each other's lives.

I know he changed mine.

Sunday Rant

Greed is NOT good. I don't care what anyone says, it brings out the darkness in the human soul. Of course, I am convinced, those who enter that darkness have no soul. Oh sure, maybe everyone is a little greedy about money, especially when you don't have any.

I've been without money most of my life. Sure, I always want more money, but I would not take advantage of someone else who has nothing to get it.

I used to have a client, let's call him Harry. Harry is developmentally disabled and probably in his 50s. He has 2 sisters, one lives next door to him and has her moments of greediness toward Harry. One Christmas, she tells Harry if has money left over from buying her gift, that she wants the money. I told Harry, "well guess what? You are spending every penny." It just disgusted me. Harry has another sister who never sees him, ever. In fact, she visits their sister next door, but NEVER sees Harry. Harry spends money buying her kids presents for Christmas. I asked him once when I noticed she was next door, "doesn't she ever come see you?" He says, "no she never does." Fast forward to now. Harry received notice from Social Security that he should have been receiving payments since 1977! Social Security sent Harry over $100,000. SInce our agency is his payee, a lawyer was contacted and much of the money will be put in a medical trust, as he is diabetic. Gee who should suddenly make contact and act like she cares? That's right, the sister from the woodwork. She wants Harry to pay for a vacation for all of them. WTF?

I cannot even continue talking about it...it makes me that angry. I am again convinced that it is MONEY that is the root of ALL evil. It is the very thing that motivates people. Many times that is a good thing and you learn a few lessons along the way of your quest to be rich. I suppose rich people have these issues all the time...people coming out of the woodwork once they know you've got money.

Whenever our time is through...it won't matter how much money, how many possessions or what connections we have.

You can't take it with you.

Formula 44

Well...May 24th I turned 44 years old. I'm taking a hint from my twin KMAE and decided to talk about the blessings and struggles I've endured. Not a long essay, although I could easily slip into something wordy, but listing the good and the bad and lord knows we cannot forget, the ugly.

Living through parents divorce

THE 70s (wish I was older!)

Going to FRANCE in high school

Going to Washington D.C. in 8th grade

Learning to cook with Mom

Making Breakfast for my dad

Graduation (high school)...finding out my dad was there watching all along

Birth of my daughter

Being shut out by my mother

Meeting and falling in love with a woman, Teri

Experiencing the downfall of love and mental illness

COMING OUT

TO ALL THE GIRLS I"VE LOVED BEFORE....and all the men I didn't

Graduation from COLLEGE

First time I worked with developmentally disabled adults....and made a breakthrough

Coming out of my shell

Living Loving and Learning

Are women really THAT psychotic?

Sending my daughter to foster parents....most devastating, but somehow liberating

Writing my first novel and losing myself

Loving an alcoholic....and leaving

New friends...

Moving to Wyoming

Moving to Cheyenne...new friends and FRESH AIR

Crazy world of Sue

Moving back home with Grandma

TALKING ONLINE WITH CINDY....yummO!

MEETING CINDY!!!!! DELISH!

Is it Cindy or stay with Grandma?

IT'S CINDY!

Experiencing REAL love and foreverness with the girl of my dreams

My dad asking for a hug from my girlfriend!

Brittany showing up on my doorstep

Brittany's GRADUATION

OIL and WATER don't mix, they fester

Grandma June passed

My mother came alive again

Mom hugging my girlfriend

Mom meeting Brittany

Mom giving me money for my birthday and saying "I LOVE YOU"

Being in love for 4 1/2 years and never once questioning what's been given to me......

I've learned lessons and understood it's really true..."that which does not kill us makes us stronger"

I've walked the rocky path, tripped and fallen, thinking the walk just wasn't worth it...but now I can see why I fell.

Life.
Bring it on

Happy Mother's Day

And is it ever an interesting one! It's been about a year now since I've been in communication with my mom. It just keeps getting better and I guess a part of me is still baffled by it all.

Cindy and Brittany and I went on Wednesday to have lunch with her. We were passing through town on our way to see my Dad to return extra flooring from the remodel. It was amazing and fun. I could spend all day trying to catch up with her...it was 20 years after all. She gave me $100 for my birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US ON MAY 24th KMAE) for a bread machine! I'm sure I got my love of cooking from my mother. Inside the card for my birthday, she wrote,, "my heart is always with you."
I still have not spoken to my stepfather...apparently he is not ready yet. I do not even know why for sure. My mother always meets me somewhere and I am hopeful one day we will talk and we can have regular visits at the house. I did some bad things when I was younger but probably not what he thinks I've done. Mostly I lied....I've admitted those things to my mother. I think those were the reasons she did what she did...it's just that my grandmother perpetuated things. I told her it was awful that we didn't fight harder to find out the truth long ago.

But we are where we are...a place I never expected to be, but on this Mother's Day, I am forever grateful I didn't give up.

Bride & Prejudice

Congratulations to the state of Iowa, my state, for doing what should have never been in question to begin with. Iowa has legalized gay marriage by striking down the gay marriage BAN. Every time this happens somewhere, I always know it will not last as the religious right will have their way. An article I read yesterday says that this time, it will likely not even be brought up by the opposition for quite some time. But we know it will. What is even more shocking, is it was a UNANIMOUS vote.

When the religious folks start in with their hate filled words, I also realize they have the right to say what they want to. What I always think about is...what if their son or daughter came to them and told them they were gay? What would they do or say? I thought of that when that bimbo sarah palin paraded her family on the stage during the campaign. Yah I said bimbo. It's Sunday, so I am being nice. To me, this is the way I am and we've all tried the other way to appease society and our families. It's not honest and I truly believe God had to have made us this way for a reason. I believe this too for all of the disabled people I've worked with. There will always be those who let their fear of the unknown control their soul. I went to a conference for work and I adored the speaker, Dr Al Condelucci. He talked about his cousin who had Down's Syndrome, that he grew up with. He didn't even realize there was such prejudice until he was outside of his family. He said "Once you get to know someone who is different than you, it is difficult to hold that same prejudice." I truly believe that. It is easier to sit back and judge than to go into unchartered territory.

That being said...for me personally, I will not get married, but I think it should not be up to the government to dictate who marries whom. What's important is the legalities of it. How many times have we been denied seeing our loved ones or being left with nothing after our partners die? I am happy the way I am and Cindy and I have discussed this at length. For us, we won't do it, but agree it should be legal for those who want to and believe in it.

So Good for IOWA. Hopefully it's a trend of what's to come.
Tune in Tomorrow

The 9th Wonder...

It's good to be surprised. Really good. I feel pretty proud of that kid of mine. That is NOT to say that I've let my guard down, but I can say I am surprised.

Toward the end of February, Brittany moved into her first apartment. It was a struggle because I had to come of with the security deposit and I wasn't sure how things were going to go. She can barely afford it, but she is struggling like anyone else....so I consider that an improvement. She's paid her rent (barely) but isn't that the case with anyone. She has not depended on me for money, but I've helped her when I could. I've always felt, up til now, that she has needed help and she would not be able to live on her own. But she is. She told me "I didn't think I'd like it as much as I do." Tuesday March 17th was her 20th birthday. Hard to believe, for sure. Of course, there are things she is still struggling with...making good choices regarding boyfriends...but hey that is normal. Well not the boyfriends part LOL It takes a lifetime to weed out the bad ones.
My mom even bought Brittany a walmart gift card for $50. So I took her shopping yesterday and she spent it on stuff for her apartment. It might actually work out! She's done good and I told her that too.

In other news: I went to the Dr due to pain and swelling around my elbow. It appears I have "tennis elbow" without actually playing tennis. It's a sore SOB. I was supposed to have a shot of cortesone but nixed it. I also have carpel tunnel in both hands, but I've lived with it for so long now...blahblahblah

Just a short word...I will miss Natasha Richardson. If you want to see an awesome movie, watch EVENING. Beautifully done with Natasha and her mom actually playing mother and daughter. Such a tragedy.

Let it be a lesson. Life. Don't miss out on it.

Mama, She's Lazy

Okay, so now I've gone for too long without complaining about the disgusting habits of everyday people. Yah, I live in the midwest and there is a different tone here, I guess, than in the big cities...but you know, I really think it's everywhere. And it's not just Walmart.

What am I talking about? The laziness of Americans. What has happened to us when we cannot find our clothes to go out in and we just figure our pajamas are okay to shop in? Not just the pajama bottoms...but slippers too! Don't get me started on all of the HUGE women who wear NO bra. I'm no small chick myself and I've been known to but on sweats and a huge sweatshirt to drive my daughter home or to work, where I'm not getting out of the car. Kmae, if you've done this, you are forgiven! LOL
I suppose it's the "trashy" side of people now, but I've really noticed ALOT of things going down hill with our society.

What happened to common sense? It has really died a horrible death. Tragic. You see it in customer service people, fast food places, retail...it's everywhere. People are not held accountable for the job they do every day. This is an excuse-laden society. We've gotten too good at the excuses.

People talk about the economy being bad. Yah it's hard. Yah it's tough but what happened to taking some pride in yourself and being an example to those who follow us?
I know I'm going to do better just in case someone cares.