Sorry to both my followers that I've been out so long. There's so much to write about some days, it's hard to decide. Tonight, however, I can't help but write.
Several times per year, an organization named PARTNERS (formerly ARC(association for retarded citizens) ) holds dances for persons with disabilities. Of course, the clients I work with always go and look forward to each event. Back in september, I went to a dance, basically because I was working and all 3 of my clients were going. So I was sitting there watching the clients form the train while the dj played "Locomotion", thinking that my ole fishing buddy Mike would love this. He went to every dance and got his picture in the paper several times, leading the train. In a moment, I looked up and I couldn't believe my eyes! It was MIKE! He came over to me the minute he saw me. "Julie! I'm happy to see you, are you happy to see me? You missed my face didn't you?" Thinking of it now, makes me smile. Mike sat down with me and we talked and caught up on things. He looked good, laughing and smiling and talking about his favorite subject: fishing! Mike asked me to dance several dances and then he told me that his sister brought him. I went to talk to his sister and she hugged me and said she was glad to see me. She also told me "Mike was never better than he was when you worked with him. He sure loves you." It was very sweet and it made me remember just how much Mike got to me and how important and special our "relationship" was and is. To know that he is doing well now did my heart good. His sister said that she has been arguing with her siblings about being there for Mike and this turned out to be a good thing that he was sent somewhere else.
TONIGHT: Tonight was the Halloween Dance. I stopped by after working my 2nd job because I had a feeling Mike might be there. He was and 2 sisters were there. They both smiled when they saw me and Mike asked me to dance so many dances. He's a dancin fool that man! His sister even made his costume (a turtle) which won a prize! Oh it was great seeing him again and he told me he is doing well.
I also ran into a case manager that I worked with when I was a case worker before I was promoted in January. She said, "I thought you left completely! What are you doing now?" So I explained that I was managing a "waiver site" home with 3 clients and was promoted in January. She told me "You were so good. You always had good ideas and you were always great with the clients. I am so glad you are still here. You're so good at what you do and that's why you were promoted." I have to take a moment and feel proud, not just of what I've accomplished, but for all the clients I've worked with. Yah there are times when I wished I would do something else, felt burnt out and done with all of it, but it helps me to know there is some purpose for what I do and maybe it's a good thing to make a difference. It's the teaching part that I love. Not everyone can do it, but those that do must give it all you have.
Otherwise why bother doing anything?
Look for something more valuable than money....it will last longer.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Lifestyles of the Whistleblowers and the Mess They Leave Behind...
Yah it was me that blew the whistle, though I was only the messenger. I reported what was told to me...though if I would have seen any of it, I'd be the first one to report. My "tangled web" post tells the sordid tale of wrongdoing. So here is an update:
A subsequent investigation was done, people were talked to and alas "nothing substantial" was found. My boss and her "friend", the other lead staff person were suspended while the investigation was going on, but of course they both still have their jobs. I think it was just too long ago that it happened, it was too hard to prove. The effects of this are apparent as changes are being made to prevent it from happening again. So there is some good coming from it. I always believe people will end up hanging themselves...Karma will get you in the end.
Part 2 of this saga is interesting.
Before I was promoted I had a coworker that seemed like a friend, at least while at work. She was promoted also, higher than I was. Since then she has treated me badly, in her tone, her attitude and all around demeanor. Since I reported all of this, she was not to know, it's confidential. A couple days ago, she came to see me for something at work and basically let me know that she KNEW it was me that reported it. There is a "no retaliation" policy at work and she told me that, quite snottily. So I decided to talk to my boss's boss who told me to come to her if I felt anything bad happening from this whole ordeal. She was in shock but said she would take care of this. So then she(my co worker) calls me, ordering me to bring in some paperwork...very nasty.
It's a Peyton Place.
I don't want it to be said that I regret what I did. I am a firm believer in reporting what you think is wrong. If you don't, you are just as guilty. If it's true or not, makes no difference.
Nobody ever got anywhere by being silent.
A subsequent investigation was done, people were talked to and alas "nothing substantial" was found. My boss and her "friend", the other lead staff person were suspended while the investigation was going on, but of course they both still have their jobs. I think it was just too long ago that it happened, it was too hard to prove. The effects of this are apparent as changes are being made to prevent it from happening again. So there is some good coming from it. I always believe people will end up hanging themselves...Karma will get you in the end.
Part 2 of this saga is interesting.
Before I was promoted I had a coworker that seemed like a friend, at least while at work. She was promoted also, higher than I was. Since then she has treated me badly, in her tone, her attitude and all around demeanor. Since I reported all of this, she was not to know, it's confidential. A couple days ago, she came to see me for something at work and basically let me know that she KNEW it was me that reported it. There is a "no retaliation" policy at work and she told me that, quite snottily. So I decided to talk to my boss's boss who told me to come to her if I felt anything bad happening from this whole ordeal. She was in shock but said she would take care of this. So then she(my co worker) calls me, ordering me to bring in some paperwork...very nasty.
It's a Peyton Place.
I don't want it to be said that I regret what I did. I am a firm believer in reporting what you think is wrong. If you don't, you are just as guilty. If it's true or not, makes no difference.
Nobody ever got anywhere by being silent.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Face(Book)ing Your Past
Ahhh Facebook. Isn't it the most wonderful thing? Yes, I succumbed to the pressure of joining god knows how many others on this vast universe of internet go-ers.
Facebook is odd. **GASP** yah, I said it.
I recently found my first boyfriend. Ahh I was 21 and he was 16. If ONLY I knew then what I know now...LOL if HE only knew then what I am guessing he knows now! I say first boyfriend, and he was the first real so-called relationship I had. He has been married twice, has 3 kids, mostly grown now. One of them actually has the same birthdate as Brittany, only a year younger. I think I saw him when Brittany was a baby. It is weird. I think about myself back then....how I could have been stuck with this life...with him. Not that he was bad, but he wasn't all that great. A cheater. He struck up a chat with me on facebook and said "careful what you say. SHE gets on here under my name alot." WHAT? Whatever that's about, I don't care. If his wife only knew she had absolutely nothing to fear from me...the one old girlfriend she should be happy about LOL I saw a picture of his wife and let me just say.....OMG I am sure she is older than he is and maybe there was such slim pickens for him. I dunno. I guess and old girlfriend who turned out to be a flaming lesbian ain't so bad! She has a resemblence to Susan Boyle, although Susan looks MUCH better. In a way, I wish Susan had not gotten a makeover....but I digress.....
One thing that bores me about Facebook PEOPLE is that they want SO damn bad for you to accept them as your "friend" but then they never talk to you again! So I've been deleting those people. Seems like alot of my family is on facebook now. That is pretty interesting....I like having that access.
I don't understand MAFIA WARS that everyone is playing. I don't get FARMVILLE. And what's the point of sending drinks to someone...I want the real thing dammit. Hearts and Hugs...oooh collect them all!
KMAE....look me up, YOU I will always talk to! YAY!
Peace to Everyone!
Facebook is odd. **GASP** yah, I said it.
I recently found my first boyfriend. Ahh I was 21 and he was 16. If ONLY I knew then what I know now...LOL if HE only knew then what I am guessing he knows now! I say first boyfriend, and he was the first real so-called relationship I had. He has been married twice, has 3 kids, mostly grown now. One of them actually has the same birthdate as Brittany, only a year younger. I think I saw him when Brittany was a baby. It is weird. I think about myself back then....how I could have been stuck with this life...with him. Not that he was bad, but he wasn't all that great. A cheater. He struck up a chat with me on facebook and said "careful what you say. SHE gets on here under my name alot." WHAT? Whatever that's about, I don't care. If his wife only knew she had absolutely nothing to fear from me...the one old girlfriend she should be happy about LOL I saw a picture of his wife and let me just say.....OMG I am sure she is older than he is and maybe there was such slim pickens for him. I dunno. I guess and old girlfriend who turned out to be a flaming lesbian ain't so bad! She has a resemblence to Susan Boyle, although Susan looks MUCH better. In a way, I wish Susan had not gotten a makeover....but I digress.....
One thing that bores me about Facebook PEOPLE is that they want SO damn bad for you to accept them as your "friend" but then they never talk to you again! So I've been deleting those people. Seems like alot of my family is on facebook now. That is pretty interesting....I like having that access.
I don't understand MAFIA WARS that everyone is playing. I don't get FARMVILLE. And what's the point of sending drinks to someone...I want the real thing dammit. Hearts and Hugs...oooh collect them all!
KMAE....look me up, YOU I will always talk to! YAY!
Peace to Everyone!
The Tangled Web...
Gosh, it's been quite awhile since I've written. Now I've got a doozy....
I've been working in my chosen field for almost 15 years now, working with developmentally disabled and lord knows how I love those people. I've seen alot....good and bad. It's the good that keeps me coming back. Somehow I always get roped into calling out the people who do the bad.
So recently, I've had 3 different staff members come to me and talk to me about another employee's (and in addition, my boss ) misuse of client money and verbal abuse. How it makes me ill. Of course, these things happened who knows how long ago....within the past year, but they could still be going on. Client's paying for staff's groceries, lunches...god knows what else. Not to mention my boss verbally abusing clients. So I did what I had to do...what others SHOULD have done long ago. I went to the director of the agency and reported it. Like other places, there is a "click" in management that has covered up these things. So I did not follow chain of command. Soon there will be an investigation and who knows what will happen. I am not sure anything can be proven at this late date, but at least people know now, who will do something. Evil is all over...even when people are pretending they are doing good.
I guess that's the most evil of all.....
I've been working in my chosen field for almost 15 years now, working with developmentally disabled and lord knows how I love those people. I've seen alot....good and bad. It's the good that keeps me coming back. Somehow I always get roped into calling out the people who do the bad.
So recently, I've had 3 different staff members come to me and talk to me about another employee's (and in addition, my boss ) misuse of client money and verbal abuse. How it makes me ill. Of course, these things happened who knows how long ago....within the past year, but they could still be going on. Client's paying for staff's groceries, lunches...god knows what else. Not to mention my boss verbally abusing clients. So I did what I had to do...what others SHOULD have done long ago. I went to the director of the agency and reported it. Like other places, there is a "click" in management that has covered up these things. So I did not follow chain of command. Soon there will be an investigation and who knows what will happen. I am not sure anything can be proven at this late date, but at least people know now, who will do something. Evil is all over...even when people are pretending they are doing good.
I guess that's the most evil of all.....
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Mike the Fisherman
I'm taking some time today talk about my favorite fishing buddy. I worked with Mike for 3 years and he was someone I'll never forget. Yes, Mike was developmentally disabled and also autistic. Mike's passion will always be fishing. Mike and I would always talk about fishing...all year round believe it or not. He knew so much about fishing. If someone pulled a fish out of the water, he knew exactly what kind of fish it was. He had all kinds of new sayings I always adopted. He would say "Oh I specks and 'spose everyone will be down at the river." He had a bunch of fishing buddies that he always fished with, they would look out for each other. It was like a 2nd family to Mike and I really understood what drew him down there. I was lucky enough to meet them and they took me in too whenever I would go fishing with Mike.
To work on Mike's and my "relationship" I would pretend I knew nothing about fishing and Mike took on the role of my teacher. It really ignited a spark in him to be showing me how to cast, fix my line and how to "play with the fish before you snag 'em". He even helped me pick out my new fishing pole. Mike and I became quite close. He hugged me a couple of times and people told me they've never seem him show emotion like that. I feel grateful for the time we shared and the progress he made. He would not clean his house and so I suggested that he and I clean together, him doing one room and me doing the other. Pretty soon, he would hurry and clean before he knew I was coming over, to impress me. As soon as I walked in, he would say "What do you think of the kitchen Julie? Doesn't it look nice and clean?" I felt so proud of him.
Time stands still for no one. I made a decision to take this new job, in January. It paid more and had more responsibility. Change is difficult for people like Mike. I tried to ease away from Mike, but it was not easy. He showed up a couple of times at my new job saying "I just missed you Julie." Do they ever know how to rip your heart out. So Mike started going downhill. Mike also has an "impulse" disorder, where he gets angry really fast and has hit people out in the community and though it doesn't happen often, 3 weeks ago, he was about arrested and had to go to court and pay a fine. THese were no kind of consequences for him, which is really what he needed. So I was asked to come back and work with him temporarily, to see if it would help. It didn't happen because he had another incident and on Thursday, he was committed into the psych ward at the hospital, on the day of his sister's funeral. I hurt for Mike and God knows I miss him so much. I found him at the river 1 week ago and we fished for 2-3 hours. I didn't know that would be the last time I would see him. He'd always ask me questions with "isn't that right, Julie?" His humor will always be with me and I hope the best for him...but more than that I feel so blessed that our paths crossed and we were a part of each other's lives.
I know he changed mine.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Sunday Rant
Greed is NOT good. I don't care what anyone says, it brings out the darkness in the human soul. Of course, I am convinced, those who enter that darkness have no soul. Oh sure, maybe everyone is a little greedy about money, especially when you don't have any.
I've been without money most of my life. Sure, I always want more money, but I would not take advantage of someone else who has nothing to get it.
I used to have a client, let's call him Harry. Harry is developmentally disabled and probably in his 50s. He has 2 sisters, one lives next door to him and has her moments of greediness toward Harry. One Christmas, she tells Harry if has money left over from buying her gift, that she wants the money. I told Harry, "well guess what? You are spending every penny." It just disgusted me. Harry has another sister who never sees him, ever. In fact, she visits their sister next door, but NEVER sees Harry. Harry spends money buying her kids presents for Christmas. I asked him once when I noticed she was next door, "doesn't she ever come see you?" He says, "no she never does." Fast forward to now. Harry received notice from Social Security that he should have been receiving payments since 1977! Social Security sent Harry over $100,000. SInce our agency is his payee, a lawyer was contacted and much of the money will be put in a medical trust, as he is diabetic. Gee who should suddenly make contact and act like she cares? That's right, the sister from the woodwork. She wants Harry to pay for a vacation for all of them. WTF?
I cannot even continue talking about it...it makes me that angry. I am again convinced that it is MONEY that is the root of ALL evil. It is the very thing that motivates people. Many times that is a good thing and you learn a few lessons along the way of your quest to be rich. I suppose rich people have these issues all the time...people coming out of the woodwork once they know you've got money.
Whenever our time is through...it won't matter how much money, how many possessions or what connections we have.
You can't take it with you.
I've been without money most of my life. Sure, I always want more money, but I would not take advantage of someone else who has nothing to get it.
I used to have a client, let's call him Harry. Harry is developmentally disabled and probably in his 50s. He has 2 sisters, one lives next door to him and has her moments of greediness toward Harry. One Christmas, she tells Harry if has money left over from buying her gift, that she wants the money. I told Harry, "well guess what? You are spending every penny." It just disgusted me. Harry has another sister who never sees him, ever. In fact, she visits their sister next door, but NEVER sees Harry. Harry spends money buying her kids presents for Christmas. I asked him once when I noticed she was next door, "doesn't she ever come see you?" He says, "no she never does." Fast forward to now. Harry received notice from Social Security that he should have been receiving payments since 1977! Social Security sent Harry over $100,000. SInce our agency is his payee, a lawyer was contacted and much of the money will be put in a medical trust, as he is diabetic. Gee who should suddenly make contact and act like she cares? That's right, the sister from the woodwork. She wants Harry to pay for a vacation for all of them. WTF?
I cannot even continue talking about it...it makes me that angry. I am again convinced that it is MONEY that is the root of ALL evil. It is the very thing that motivates people. Many times that is a good thing and you learn a few lessons along the way of your quest to be rich. I suppose rich people have these issues all the time...people coming out of the woodwork once they know you've got money.
Whenever our time is through...it won't matter how much money, how many possessions or what connections we have.
You can't take it with you.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Formula 44
Well...May 24th I turned 44 years old. I'm taking a hint from my twin KMAE and decided to talk about the blessings and struggles I've endured. Not a long essay, although I could easily slip into something wordy, but listing the good and the bad and lord knows we cannot forget, the ugly.
Living through parents divorce
THE 70s (wish I was older!)
Going to FRANCE in high school
Going to Washington D.C. in 8th grade
Learning to cook with Mom
Making Breakfast for my dad
Graduation (high school)...finding out my dad was there watching all along
Birth of my daughter
Being shut out by my mother
Meeting and falling in love with a woman, Teri
Experiencing the downfall of love and mental illness
COMING OUT
TO ALL THE GIRLS I"VE LOVED BEFORE....and all the men I didn't
Graduation from COLLEGE
First time I worked with developmentally disabled adults....and made a breakthrough
Coming out of my shell
Living Loving and Learning
Are women really THAT psychotic?
Sending my daughter to foster parents....most devastating, but somehow liberating
Writing my first novel and losing myself
Loving an alcoholic....and leaving
New friends...
Moving to Wyoming
Moving to Cheyenne...new friends and FRESH AIR
Crazy world of Sue
Moving back home with Grandma
TALKING ONLINE WITH CINDY....yummO!
MEETING CINDY!!!!! DELISH!
Is it Cindy or stay with Grandma?
IT'S CINDY!
Experiencing REAL love and foreverness with the girl of my dreams
My dad asking for a hug from my girlfriend!
Brittany showing up on my doorstep
Brittany's GRADUATION
OIL and WATER don't mix, they fester
Grandma June passed
My mother came alive again
Mom hugging my girlfriend
Mom meeting Brittany
Mom giving me money for my birthday and saying "I LOVE YOU"
Being in love for 4 1/2 years and never once questioning what's been given to me......
I've learned lessons and understood it's really true..."that which does not kill us makes us stronger"
I've walked the rocky path, tripped and fallen, thinking the walk just wasn't worth it...but now I can see why I fell.
Life.
Bring it on
Living through parents divorce
THE 70s (wish I was older!)
Going to FRANCE in high school
Going to Washington D.C. in 8th grade
Learning to cook with Mom
Making Breakfast for my dad
Graduation (high school)...finding out my dad was there watching all along
Birth of my daughter
Being shut out by my mother
Meeting and falling in love with a woman, Teri
Experiencing the downfall of love and mental illness
COMING OUT
TO ALL THE GIRLS I"VE LOVED BEFORE....and all the men I didn't
Graduation from COLLEGE
First time I worked with developmentally disabled adults....and made a breakthrough
Coming out of my shell
Living Loving and Learning
Are women really THAT psychotic?
Sending my daughter to foster parents....most devastating, but somehow liberating
Writing my first novel and losing myself
Loving an alcoholic....and leaving
New friends...
Moving to Wyoming
Moving to Cheyenne...new friends and FRESH AIR
Crazy world of Sue
Moving back home with Grandma
TALKING ONLINE WITH CINDY....yummO!
MEETING CINDY!!!!! DELISH!
Is it Cindy or stay with Grandma?
IT'S CINDY!
Experiencing REAL love and foreverness with the girl of my dreams
My dad asking for a hug from my girlfriend!
Brittany showing up on my doorstep
Brittany's GRADUATION
OIL and WATER don't mix, they fester
Grandma June passed
My mother came alive again
Mom hugging my girlfriend
Mom meeting Brittany
Mom giving me money for my birthday and saying "I LOVE YOU"
Being in love for 4 1/2 years and never once questioning what's been given to me......
I've learned lessons and understood it's really true..."that which does not kill us makes us stronger"
I've walked the rocky path, tripped and fallen, thinking the walk just wasn't worth it...but now I can see why I fell.
Life.
Bring it on
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day
And is it ever an interesting one! It's been about a year now since I've been in communication with my mom. It just keeps getting better and I guess a part of me is still baffled by it all.
Cindy and Brittany and I went on Wednesday to have lunch with her. We were passing through town on our way to see my Dad to return extra flooring from the remodel. It was amazing and fun. I could spend all day trying to catch up with her...it was 20 years after all. She gave me $100 for my birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US ON MAY 24th KMAE) for a bread machine! I'm sure I got my love of cooking from my mother. Inside the card for my birthday, she wrote,, "my heart is always with you."
I still have not spoken to my stepfather...apparently he is not ready yet. I do not even know why for sure. My mother always meets me somewhere and I am hopeful one day we will talk and we can have regular visits at the house. I did some bad things when I was younger but probably not what he thinks I've done. Mostly I lied....I've admitted those things to my mother. I think those were the reasons she did what she did...it's just that my grandmother perpetuated things. I told her it was awful that we didn't fight harder to find out the truth long ago.
But we are where we are...a place I never expected to be, but on this Mother's Day, I am forever grateful I didn't give up.
Cindy and Brittany and I went on Wednesday to have lunch with her. We were passing through town on our way to see my Dad to return extra flooring from the remodel. It was amazing and fun. I could spend all day trying to catch up with her...it was 20 years after all. She gave me $100 for my birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US ON MAY 24th KMAE) for a bread machine! I'm sure I got my love of cooking from my mother. Inside the card for my birthday, she wrote,, "my heart is always with you."
I still have not spoken to my stepfather...apparently he is not ready yet. I do not even know why for sure. My mother always meets me somewhere and I am hopeful one day we will talk and we can have regular visits at the house. I did some bad things when I was younger but probably not what he thinks I've done. Mostly I lied....I've admitted those things to my mother. I think those were the reasons she did what she did...it's just that my grandmother perpetuated things. I told her it was awful that we didn't fight harder to find out the truth long ago.
But we are where we are...a place I never expected to be, but on this Mother's Day, I am forever grateful I didn't give up.
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